Going Through Changes…

The last you heard from me, I was getting ready to participate in Coasting for Kids at Cedar Point for Give Kids The World.  I am happy to say that the event was a huge success!  Nationwide, the event raised over 40,000 dollars for this great organization!  For all of you that were able to donate, thank you so much!  I am looking forward to participating again next year!

Now I realize it’s been several months since I’ve posted.  If you’ve followed my blogging in the past, you will realize this is not surprising.  I am awful at keeping up with blogging, and with several changes that have been going on in my life, it’s been even more difficult to find time to put my thoughts on a screen.  But, that’s what brings me back here today.

To be honest, I am in the midst of the darkest season that I have faced in my relatively young life…  Growing up, we all have an idea of how we want things to turn out as our life progresses.  We may not have an exact idea of how things will turn out, but most of us tend to have a framework that we try to build our life upon.  Even if we don’t have a full knowledge of what will transpire, nearly everyone has specific things that they hope/believe will never happen to them.  These are the things that redden your eyes with tears, that keep you awake at night, and radically change the course of life that you have followed thus far.  These events have the potential to tear down all you have built so far, and leave you back at square one.  These events shake you to your very core, and make you question what could have possibly brought you to this place.  As devastating as these moments are, they also are pivotal in that they can either destroy you, or build you into a stronger, better person than you were before.

So that is where I stand right now… Facing one of the things that I never thought would ever happen to me.  This is my reality.  The frail hope that this is a very long bad dream has faded, and I am now just trying to figure out where to go from here.

Some of you reading this blog know what it is that I am facing, while others are completely clueless.  I am sorry that I am being vague right now, but I really don’t feel like publishing my entire personal life on the internet.  Rather, I look to process through some of the things I am feeling right now, and attempt to find healing through writing.  I have always loved writing, and find it to be very therapeutic, but I tend to ignore it until something like this happens.

I’m hoping to make this blog a place where I can process through the various feelings I am experiencing as I journey through this chapter of my life’s story.  Now don’t worry… I promise this blog is not going to become “Josh’s Inner Sanctum of Sadness.”  Hmm… Perhaps I will start that blog on another page (sarcasm).  While it is true that I am going through some very difficult things in life, it doesn’t mean that I am completely lacking any positive emotions.  In fact, sometimes in these dark times, you can find joy in places that you would never notice if you were just going about life as usual.

So if you pray, please pray for me.  If you don’t, at least send some positive thoughts my way.  If you don’t think any positive thoughts… well… then perhaps you should start an “inner sanctum of sadness” blog…

Thanks for your support during this difficult time, and hopefully I emerge from this a stronger, wiser person than when it started.


3 Responses to Going Through Changes…

  1. cedar says:

    My good thoughts and prayers are with you through whatever this difficult time is. P.s.if you made an “inner sanctum of sadness” blog, I would probably still read it just because I enjoy your writing.

  2. Bdub says:

    A wiser Miser is all that you can hope for in trying times such as these. I know you’re well aware that you have friends and people who care and I’m sure I speak for any and all of them when I say we’re always close by.

  3. Kara says:

    praying for you, squash- as i was reading this, i was thinking of the beatitudes, and figured i’d pass on part of this translation:

    “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”

    you’re stronger than you realize, because your strength is in Him. praying that His love surrounds you during this time.

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